Hold on there’s no way I’m a parent yet. Relieved? Lol. However, I grew up as an introverted child, so these are all firsthand experiences. And I thought these might be helpful to parents who want to understand better or at least have an idea on what comes to a mind of an introverted child. Again, these are all based on my experiences which may vary to what your kids go through.
What is an introvert?
The number one word I can describe or denote an introvert is shy. I think it has different types or levels of how introverted a person is. In my case, I’m a very perky child selectively. So yes, I still made friends at school.
What could be some factors to determine that you have an introverted child?
1. Being uptight when it comes to making decisions.
I remember this one time when we were at the mall, and my parents asked me to choose a pair of sandals so they can get it for me. So, my parents asked me to choose between the flats or the wedge sandals. I answered, “I don’t know… Any.” Since I was just in grade school at that time, my mom decided to get the flats instead since she’s not getting any answers from me. But really, I wanted the wedges. I’ve always wanted a pair of high heels at that time since I like modeling my mom’s at home.
So they asked me to wear it already, and as we were walking out of the shop, I intentionally sliding my feet off the sandals. They noticed, and I guess they asked me, “why.” I’m not sure if I already answered them straight that I don’t like it, but of course, everybody would already assume that at that time. So, we went back to the shop and got the wedge sandals instead.
Yep. So those were the pair of wedges I badly wanted! Lol.
2. Very quiet when around others.
As a child, I barely talk when I’m around my relatives or my family’s friends. Even up to this day, I sometimes struggle with it. It’s like I couldn’t speak at all. It takes me lots of guts before I get to approach other people. Nevertheless, I noticed some improvements within myself and it takes a lot of time. From an introverted child, I guess I’m slowly turning into an ambivert. Because guess what? I’m learning how to talk now. This progress took place when I was in high school where I gained lots of friends even from other batches.
3. So shy and having less or no self-esteem at all.
As a child and up to my first few years in college, my definition of beauty was not me. Also, when my teachers would ask me to be our muse or to represent our class in our school’s United Nations event, or any school pageant, I would always say no. I wouldn’t also participate in any role-playing events at school until I was in college. I would only join the activities which are mandatory.
As an introverted child, what was I thinking back then?
For the first factor:
Even when it comes to choosing what I want, I’m very hesitant when it comes to expressing it. Maybe because I know that the flat ones were what my parents intend to get for me and not the wedges which don’t usually get preferred by a grade school child like me, isn’t it? That could be one. Thus, I felt like there’s a right or wrong between making choices and that I could be wrong. In other words, at that time, I may be afraid to make a mistake. So, I want them to notice that I didn’t like those sandals without me having to speak.
For the second factor:
As a person, I am easily intimidated by other people. It includes anyone who’s older than me and those with a strong personality. As a child, I felt so uncomfortable being around them.
For the third factor:
I never believed in myself. I’ve always seen myself as someone who’s not beautiful, not intelligent, and not talented. I thought I was very weak and that I couldn’t do those things. I was, and I am still afraid to commit mistakes and look foolish in front of many people.
When it comes to academics, I always thought I was unintelligent. I have always been so afraid to get reprimanded which is one of the reasons why I have learned to study and do my homework alone as early as 4th grade, I think. Also, I find review games at school the worst. I hated the feeling of being dumb by not knowing the answer.
I dislike the feeling of getting embarrassed. So as much as I wanted to join those activities or events, I chose not to just because I didn’t believe I could do it too.
How can a parent address these situations? Here are a few tips.
* Observe your child’s body language.
Introverted children are not expressive at all, maybe in some circumstances, but not all the time. Just how my parents did, they noticed that I was intentionally sliding off my feet from the sandals to get rid of it. I, doing that only means one thing, I didn’t like it.
* Be sensitive enough to their thoughts and feelings.
Regardless if I was able to answer them or not if I wanted those wedges instead of the flats, they were sensitive enough to exchange those pairs of sandals. I don’t think it’s a way of spoiling a child since it’s more of understanding them. In my opinion, spoiled kids are the ones who easily express themselves to the point of getting tantrums just to get what they want. I hope you get the difference.
* Enroll them to other classes aside from school if you can afford it. However, if you’re on a tight budget, you, or there may be someone you know who is willing and able to teach your child for free.
Enrolling them in different classes expands their horizon and helps them look for their passion. For instance, I love coloring and drawing, so my parents enrolled me in an art class. It makes a child feel somehow empowered.
* Compliment them.
As a family, we usually make fun of each other without the intention of bullying one. It’s just that how comfortable you are with each other. Let’s say a person is gaining weight, and you call him/her fat. It may seem like a joke to you without the intention of hurting the person, but that simple word “fat” can instill in that person’s mind forever. It may seem like it does not affect her, but there’s a higher chance that it does. I have mentioned some of my insecurities back then and how I overcome it with self-love in one of my previous blog posts. Click HERE.
Simple compliments such as “you did great” can impact one’s self-esteem. A compliment or praise coming from parents or someone you love gives you the drive to do better. It lets you know that you’re good at what you’re doing.
* Encourage them to join extracurricular activities.
Aside from art or music lessons, joining in a school play, for instance, can help a child overcome his/her shyness. Being exposed to a big crowd can help boost their confidence. It also gives them the chance to go out there and try something new.
I created this post not to shame nor say that being an introverted child is a bad thing. It’s not a disease which anyone should avoid. I just felt like writing this to in a way let society know what and how introverts go through. I was once a full introvert because I consider myself as an ambivert now. An ambivert is a combination of an introvert and an extrovert, and yep that’s me now.
Others may think I’m a snob for not saying hi or even a simple smile. But believe me, I want to. That’s something I don’t like about myself I couldn’t seem to talk. I couldn’t seem to have the guts to approach someone I know and say hi. Trust me I’m doing my best to speak now. 😉
In college, I never knew I could somehow act, not until I tried it. It’s about trying something you thought you could never do. At that time, I made a mistake on my last line. It was really embarrassing, but hey, at least I did it. And it’s no big deal anymore to me, in fact, I’m proud of it.
During my immersion in one of the prestigious hotels in the Philippines, everyone in each department was obliged to participate and prepare a performance for our Christmas party. I was really shy, and I’m not really into dancing. My lead role part was just a few minutes, but I was really surprised and proud of myself.
Lastly, I had my one-year internship abroad. I was able and managed to live on my own without my parents and family. These are just some of the things I never thought I could do. But guess what? I made it! In addition, I know that I’m about to face new things in the years to come, and I know that with God’s help, I’m still going to make it. 🙂
And to all girls out there, you are beautiful for who you are. I’ve never considered myself as beautiful before just because all the while I was staring at others. I find other girls beautiful and yet I don’t see myself as one. Why? Because I’m not them, and I will never be them. Same way there’s only one me, and they can never be me. It’s okay to admire others’ beauty, talents, and skills, but make sure you don’t forget to appreciate yours too. You have to start accepting yourself for who, what and how God created you to be. Once you do, you’ll start getting comfortable and confident with yourself, and notice how you effortlessly shine! ♥
Meanwhile, you can check out my previous posts too! ♥
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